My Children Are Like Pets to Me

When my 6th child was a baby I decided I needed a playpen for her to nap in so she wouldn't fall off the bed.  I'm actually somewhat confused remembering this because I know that I had TWO playpens for the twins that apparently weren't available.  Maybe they were still using them?  I also never used a playpen at all for my first three children, but I don't recall a major issue with falling off the bed.  Regardless, sweet baby Jane was becoming more mobile and I felt better about the idea of putting her in a playpen for naps than on the bed.

I had never purchased a playpen before, we had acquired the other two from friends and relatives who weren't using them any more.  I had no idea how much they cost new, but I had no intention of paying full price so I went to a consignment store for children's and baby items.  That was my first mistake.  I should have just cruised the thrift shops.

I'm not an expert shopper by any means so I don't know if all consignment shops or consignment shopkeepers are like this, but she seemed to want to make sure I knew that this was a VERY classy place. They carried nothing but the finest second-hand baby paraphernalia and clothing that had been very gently used by the most prim and proper babies.

The nice, if not somewhat pretentious shop keeper asked if she could help me.  I told her that I was looking for a playpen.  Second mistake.  She was visibly taken aback (not for the last time in this short visit).  Apparently we don't call them "playpens" anymore.  The idea of PENNING a baby!  My goodness, how crass!  How careless!  What loving parent would "pen" a child!  She corrected me - "Oh...you must mean a Pack n' Play?"  Lady, you're older than me, I know you've heard the term "playpen" before, but, "Yes, of course, a Pack n' Play."

She began showing me their very finest Pack n' Play.  Plush padding on the top bars, a bassinet insert that could also be used for diaper changing and a mobile (you know, those things that hang over cribs to entertain babies).  All mine for just over $50.  It was my turn to be taken aback.  I had no intention of spending anywhere near that much.  I told her I didn't need anything so fancy and I was just looking for something inexpensive.  she showed me another model for around $40...maybe because it didn't have the mobile?

At this point I began pondering how big the largest moving box from our recent move was.  A couple of blankets in the bottom for padding and baby would never know she'd been cheaply boxed instead of expensively penned for her naps.  Certainly I could find a box tall enough but did it have enough space to stretch out in the bottom?  As I was turning this all over in my head something caught my eye in the back corner of the store.

Right there, folded up and tucked away was a bare bones play pen.  It had no attachments, no plush padding or even any cloth (it was more of a tent-like material) and it was the most unfashionable shade of blue.  I perked up.  "How about that one?"  As she looked to where I was pointing her eyebrows furrowed in consternation.  She gave a little laugh and said, "Oh, you don't want that one!"  Not to be swayed I went to have a look.  The price tag said $15.  That I could handle.  "No, this one is perfect!  Exactly what I was looking for!"  She was skeptical.  She said, "This one would really be more appropriate for a pet."  I had already picked it up and began carrying it to the front.  She hurried behind me trying to convince me - "Is this for a puppy?  It would be perfect for a puppy!"

For just a moment I considered playing along with this ridiculous notion that I had come to a snooty consignment store to purchase an overpriced Pack n' Play for a puppy.  I decided to try honesty and humor instead.  "Ha ha, this is for my 6th child.  If I couldn't find something for cheap enough I was considering using a moving box!"  *hardy har har, slaps knee*  She was not amused.  She was more than taken aback...she looked aghast.  For a moment I feared that she was going to refuse to sell me the darn thing and put me out of the shop or call CPS.  Finally she begrudgingly rung me up and I managed to get out of there with what I now knew to be a glorified pet cage.

As far as I can tell my daughter has not been harmed in any way by sleeping in the thing.  She barks from time to time, but surely that's not related, right?  Needless to say, I don't shop consignment anymore.