Parenting: Lesson 1

For all of my dedicated fans (ha ha), feel free to skip my next several posts as they are written more for me than for you.  It's time for me to talk about my kids and dote on them in a way that only a mother can.

This is Isaak:

He is my first precious baby.  He is almost 12 and a half years old!  This idea that I'm going to have a teenager soon is more than a little frightening.  Isaak has taught me, and continues to teach me so much about ...everything.

I always wanted kids.  It was my single and highest goal for my life.  I thought I knew a lot about kids and would know a lot about parenting.  I had younger siblings...I babysat.  I also thought I new a lot about homeschooling.  I was home-schooled   Almost everyone I knew was home-schooled   What a perfect candidate for going on to home-school my own children!  Or so I thought.  It turned out that, much to my surprise, I didn't get my mom's children, and I didn't get the children that I babysat...I got my very own wonderfully individual child.  My precious Isaak, who was made to be my child, and if anyone can believe it, I was made to be his mother.

Isaak challenged nearly every single "brilliant" idea that I thought I had about motherhood and homeschooling.  And thank God.  Imagine how undeservedly self-satisfied I would have been if he followed along all of the steps I had planned.  I have made so many mistakes, especially as he was younger, trying to get him and I both to conform to what I thought was the "right" way to be, the "right" way to school, etc.  It took me along time to learn to respect his individuality and his own path for development.  I now look back at my "failures" and the times I "gave up" on the traditional educational path and realize that "letting go" instead of pushing was not a "failure" but rather exactly what he needed.  I just hope that I didn't put too many obstacles in his natural path those intermittent times that I tried to force him through before he was ready.

And when I look at my sweet boy today, I'm so proud of him.  I'm proud of myself too, for (mostly) letting go of my ridiculous ego-inflating pride (if that's not too much of a contradiction).  He is not "well ahead" of his peers.  In some areas, if we were to go by some arbitrary, cookie-cutter, anti-individual national standard, he is probably "behind".  To which I say, who freaking cares.  He is progressing.  He is learning new things and facing new challenges in his life and in his school work.  He is showing diligence and care in his learning.  He is facing new challenges with greater confidence and ability than if I had forced them on him before he was ready.  I am still tempted from time to time to seek approval and wish for praise for my mad skillz (ha ha) at parenting and at teaching.  But then I remember the Litany of Humility that I prayed in college with much squirming and fear and pray for the grace and fortitude to have meant it then and to mean it now.

Other things I love about Isaak...He is truly sweet and caring.  He cares about how I feel.  If I look upset he makes a point to ask me if something is wrong.  My habit is to tell my children that everything is fine and not to worry about it because I do not want to burden them with my moods, but I recently decided that at his age it might show more loving respect to his maturity to share my worries while still not burdening him.  Last time he asked, he said, "You look troubled, Mom, is something bothering you?"  So I told him, "You are sweet to ask, I'm just a little concerned and stressed out about a work deadline, but I'm sure I'll get it managed," and he came and gave me a hug and offered to entertain the kids so I could focus more.  We've been working on loving communication in our household lately and he has been right on board.  He has been speaking so much more kindly lately and doing random acts of kindness and service.  He comes for hugs several times a day.  I hope that doesn't end in his teen years.

He loves to read.  He loves to build things and invent with his legos.  He's quite the engineer.  If I can't figure out how something is supposed work or fit together, he's my go to guy.  He's quick with a grin and has many good ideas, although he can be kind of quiet around others.  He makes me coffee in the morning.  He loves to make others happy.  He is a hard worker, though sometimes a bit distracted by all of his wonderful thoughts.  He is my precious child with whom I'm well pleased.