How to Stop Sucking At Life in 10 Steps or Less - At Least For One Day

That's my objective for today.  I've heard that, in addition to low standards, a key to success is making short term goals.  So my goal is to not suck at life today.  I may or may not suck at life tomorrow, I'll figure that out when the time comes.  For now, not sucking today would be a great success,

Step 1: Take a shower, put on real clothes and apply mascara.  Now you won't be mortified if someone delivers a package.  DONE

Step 2: Wear your magic apron.  I can't find my magic apron.  In lieu of magic apron decide that lack of magic apron will not ruin  my day and hope to find magic apron during planned productivity.  Change into clothes that you don't mind becoming filthy.  Mortification at being seen by outsiders will be minimal as I still have my mascara on. DONE.

Step 3: Explain to children why spiders are important to the ecosystem even though we don't like having them in the house.  Consider it a "school lesson".  DONE.

Step 4: Make many grandiose plans for cleaning, cooking freezer meals, teaching Isaak to write an outline, and read up on fun simple science projects to do with the kids.  DONE.

Step 5: Look at the minimal things I have done today, label each one a success and start composing a list on how not to suck at life. DONE.

Step 6: Get off of computer and start dishes. I'm going....more to come.

Update:

Step 7. Get dishes done. Done.

Step 8.  Give children motivational speech when they start whining that they can't do their chores because they are so hungry even though they have eaten within the past 30 minutes:

"When I lived in Mexico, I saw 2 little boys who didn't have houses to live in or parents to give them food.  They were very hungry and hadn't had anything to eat for 2 or 3 days.  One evening they went into a McDonald's and were told that if they cleaned up the floor they could have a meal.  The two little boys were very grateful and worked hard and fast to clean up the floor so they could eat.  They didn't whine and complain that they were too hungry to work.

The End"
DONE.

Updated:

Step 8. Attend a eulogy for a worm and discuss weather or not worms go to heaven.  Explain the temporal nature of earth and purgatory vs. heaven.  Consider it a "school lesson".  DONE.

Step 9. Make 3 freezer meals. (almost)DONE.

I have determined that it is late enough in the day to look back at my accomplishments and officially declare this a day where I did not suck at life.  Therefore I succeeded.  So there.